Not A Typical Teenager: Tears may fall

Thursday, 5 November 2015

Tears may fall

I am a confident person. I always have been. I don't really have an issue with getting up in front of people and talking about anything. I don't mind getting up on stage and singing while playing my ukulele. I've always been a confident person.

However, I do struggle with my emotions. Not in the way that you are probably expecting, but everyone always knows how I'm feeling. Now this usually isn't an issues, but it is when I feel sad, because when I feel sad I cry. I cry a lot. I can be in my house or in school and if I get upset,  I will cry.

This, unfortunately, does make me feel quite negative about myself. It makes me feel weak. I would really like to have better emotional stability than a 2 year old on public transport, but I don't.

The feeling weak comes from the comments that follow.

Why can't you just stop

This is ridiculous

Ash, there's no need to get upset

To people on the outside, there may not be a reason to be upset. I may not even think I have a reason to be upset, but if I feel the need to cry, I can't stop it. My eyes fill up and tears begin to run down my face. This can make me feel even worse. I feel like I don't have the strength to stop it. I'm not strong enough. I feel weak, and I put myself in difficult positions.

Weakness is not a feeling I enjoy feeling, but I suppose it's honest. I'm crying for a reason and my emotion is out in the open. I guess that to an extent it's better that people know how I feel so I can talk about it. I hate it when people nag me and ask me what's wrong, but then it's good because it reminds me that I am surrounded by people who care. When someone asks me what wrong, I tend to dissolve into more tears and sobs, and the same thing happens when someone hugs me; that's why I don't like it when people ask.

Maybe crying isn't always a weakness; it can be a strength. I am opening up to the people around me and if they ask what's wrong, I can get it off of my chest and begin to feel better. I would personally rather that than be able to hold it back and cry by myself; because that doesn't solve anything.

Stay Un-typical

Ashleigh xxx

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