I am 16. I haven't even started to apply to university yet. I still have a year and 8 months before everyone starts to leave. I haven't even decided yet if I want to go, and yet I bury my head in the sand about it. I'm sort of dreading the entire experience.
It's an exciting time; deciding what you want to do after A levels. I could literally do anything, (within reason). I could go and travel, I could take a gap year and sleep for an entire year. I could get an apprenticeship, a job. The world is my oyster.
But at the same time it's really frightening.
I read a book recently called 'Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between', by Jennifer E. Smith. It's set over about 12-24 hours, and it's the last night a girl spends in her home town with her friends who haven't yet left for uni before she herself leaves for uni. It's an amazing book that is really well written. But it made me really sad. It made me think about how quickly the time between now and then will fly by.
It's not so much the experience that makes me anxious. It's leaving everyone behind. Leaving my family behind will be a task if I do decide to go to uni, but it will be okay. The difference between friends and family is that my parents will be there for me when I get back. I can come back home to everything being similar to the way it was when I left (hopefully).
However, even if I don't go to university, my friends will.
They will come home with tales of new friends and their fantastic new experiences that I am not a part of. At the moment, I want to do an apprenticeship, and this is going to make it more difficult I think. I will have new experiences with new friends, but not in the same way. I probably won't be living away from home. I fear I will have to watch all of my friends return home with new best friends. I fear I will have to watch my current boyfriend return home with his shinier, prettier, newer girlfriend. I fear that they will all forget me; and it scares the crap out of me.
I feel like I am over reacting majorly. Not everyone is going to forget I exist, and return home without wanting to speak to me because I've been long forgotten. That's just how I'm feeling at the minute, and maybe it's all just a ridiculous feeling. Or maybe I should just bury my head in the sand.
What do you think? Did this happen to you when you went to university? Do you have the same fears as me when it comes to university? Let me know in the comments, and feel free to email me: email@example.com.