Not A Typical Teenager: University Fears

Sunday, 17 January 2016

University Fears

I am 16. I haven't even started to apply to university yet. I still have a year and 8 months before everyone starts to leave. I haven't even decided yet if I want to go, and yet I bury my head in the sand about it. I'm sort of dreading the entire experience.

It's an exciting time; deciding what you want to do after A levels. I could literally do anything, (within reason). I could go and travel, I could take a gap year and sleep for an entire year. I could get an apprenticeship, a job. The world is my oyster.

But at the same time it's really frightening.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/5d/05/98/5d05985e50abb
57807c61addb487c368.jpg
I read a book recently called 'Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between', by Jennifer E. Smith. It's set over about 12-24 hours, and it's the last night a girl spends in her home town with her friends who haven't yet left for uni before she herself leaves for uni. It's an amazing book that is really well written. But it made me really sad. It made me think about how quickly the time between now and then will fly by.

It's not so much the experience that makes me anxious. It's leaving everyone behind. Leaving my family behind will be a task if I do decide to go to uni, but it will be okay. The difference between friends and family is that my parents will be there for me when I get back. I can come back home to everything being similar to the way it was when I left (hopefully).

However, even if I don't go to university, my friends will.

They will come home with tales of new friends and their fantastic new experiences that I am not a part of. At the moment, I want to do an apprenticeship, and this is going to make it more difficult I think. I will have new experiences with new friends, but not in the same way. I probably won't be living away from home. I fear I will have to watch all of my friends return home with new best friends. I fear I will have to watch my current boyfriend return home with his shinier, prettier, newer girlfriend. I fear that they will all forget me; and it scares the crap out of me.

I feel like I am over reacting majorly. Not everyone is going to forget I exist, and return home without wanting to speak to me because I've been long forgotten. That's just how I'm feeling at the minute, and maybe it's all just a ridiculous feeling. Or maybe I should just bury my head in the sand.

What do you think? Did this happen to you when you went to university? Do you have the same fears as me when it comes to university? Let me know in the comments, and feel free to email  me: bracesandglasses128@gmail.com.

Stay Un-typical

Ashleigh xxx

2 comments :

  1. Hello. I'm now in my 9th year at uni. I managed this by doing a 5 year degree that included a master's year and then by signing up for a PhD. I've loved it and I think it's fair to say I now know a thing or two about what it's like.

    If you have the grades I'd say apply. Apply with a deferred entry if you want to do a gap year (I always wished I had but by now I've managed to fit in plenty of travel anyway - it'll happen if you want it to). It's amazing experience quite aside from what you'll learn. You'll do all sorts of things and meet all sorts of people who you otherwise never would. Some of those people will become life long friends. You'll leave more independent, better educated and more well-rounded than if you hadn't gone... not that that isn't true of getting a job, but the experiences are bound to be different.

    Finally, if you go, go knowing that it's not for everyone and that's ok. If you go and you hate it figure out why and see if it can be fixed (by chaning uni, or course, or moving, or anything else). If it can't be fixed, just leave. That's allowed. People do it every year. If it's not for you it's better to realise that and move on then it is to stay and hate it.

    What ever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I can't believe you've spent 9 years in uni, that's a long time! I'm glad that you are enjoying it, and I'm glad that you have had the opportunity to travel even though you didn't take a gap year.
      I think I probably will end up applying for uni, but there may be other things in the mix. And, like you said, it's not going to be the end of the world if I chose the wrong path.
      Thank you for the advice and I wish you the best of luck with your PhD :)

      Delete