Not A Typical Teenager: December 2016

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Stigma and Sex

In primary school, when you have a crush on someone, you become “boyfriend and girlfriend”. You can be together all of 2 minutes before you love each other and be broken up the next day because you were caught talking to someone the other person didn’t like. In primary school, we played kiss chase and ran around the yard and held people hostage so that their crush could kiss them, and we could run away without being caught. In primary school, we had fake marriages and pretended to be married and we had audiences with maids of honour and best men.

In secondary school, we played truth or dare, where it was a big deal to kiss someone on the cheek, and we all hoped we would have to kiss our crushes. In secondary school, I watched my friends all get boyfriends where we pretended it was more serious than primary school but in reality we were just pretending. In secondary school, I learned what necking was and how to pie someone off, how to text the person you like, and how not to appear clingy or interested.

Since primary school, we have all grown up, and the way our relationships work is very different. Relationships are more serious because we can see each other outside of school and we have the freedom to go to places with each other. The way people view our relationships is different now as well. We are love struck and innocent. We don’t know anything.

Today, I don’t want to talk about relationships;

I want to talk about sex. 

We first learn about sex in year 7, where we learn about reproduction in school and the teacher puts on a video about sex and you have to watch a woman give birth. After this, all of us felt a little awkward and I don’t think any boys or girls talked to each other until the next day when it had blown over. We were all shocked by what we had learned.

When I was in year 10, one of my friends claimed to have lost her virginity. She shared all of the details which I and my other friend didn’t really want to hear, but she was going to tell us whether we wanted to hear or not, and it made me uncomfortable, because we were girls; we shouldn't be talking about sex, should we? Now, a few of my friends have lost their virginity and I’ve learned things from this.

Some people feel pressured
When all of your friends have lost their virginity, it shouldn’t be a big deal, but when your friends won’t let you join in a conversation because you “won’t understand”, it can be easy to see how people can feel pressured into things.

Virginity is a social construct
You should value your own body because your body is special. It is up to you who touches your body and who doesn’t. If you want to have sex with someone, then you should be able to, but only if you want to, and you should not feel shamed about having sex with anyone. It is your decision. All virginity seems to do nowadays is shame girls who haven’t got it and shame boys who have, AND IT ISN’T A REAL THING.

Be safe
Above everything else, it’s really important that you stay safe and make sure that you aren’t putting yourself in danger.
Girls have been told that they should be terrified about having sex because it hurts. Girls are constantly being scared of doing it and if a girl does it, they can be shamed by their peers. Boys are being told they should be sleeping with people because it gives them “lad points”.

The biggest barrier is that people are afraid to talk about it. Sex is a subject that people avoid talking about. As a teenager, I have discovered that we can be quite open when talking about sex and relationships, and if you are curious, you should ask questions. Maybe not individually, but if there are a few of you talking about sex and relationships, and you have a question, ask it, and people will more than likely be happy to answer it.

What do you think of this? Is sex still a taboo subject to talk about? Should we be more open to talking about it? How do we remove the stigma around talking about it? Let me know in the comments.

If you have any questions or queries about this post, please feel free to comment or email. You can email anonymously at
Stay Un-Typical

Ashleigh xxx 

(PS, there's not photo because I didn't have a clue what to put!)

Sunday, 4 December 2016

I Am Scientific And I Am Arty

I am a scientific person. I have taken Maths, Further Maths and Physics for A level.
I am also a creative person. I write a blog, I write songs and I play numerous instruments.
So why is it that there is still the need for the distinction for the type of person you are? In school, we are separated into sciences and humanities. The people who have taken the sciences are taken more seriously. Talks are planned for them in regards to their future careers, applications are sent off earlier than those who took humanities to show that you are committed to the subject. If you are someone who is able minded in science and humanities, you are encouraged to do the sciences because these are more “valued”.
This is strange because the humanities are important to, but we are asked to identify as either good at science or the humanities; and the people who pick the humanities draw the short straw.
And then we have the people who are artistic or musical, who are disregarded even further. They are told that only a select few get to break into that field and that it is unlikely that you will be one of them. You will have to adapt what you love to suit the needs of the jobs available.
Science and maths also get more funding than any other subjects, while the arts and humanities are still funded, they don’t get as much.
Yes, we need more scientists and engineers to solve global warming and the energy crisis, but we also need geographers to help us deal with over population; historians, to make sure we don’t make the same mistakes as our ancestors, journalists to help document everything so that we all know what’s going on. We need all of the subjects.
I am a scientific person, but I am also a creative person. The one I identify as more changes depending on who I am with.
In school, I am a scientific person so that I will be taken seriously and helped with my applications.
On my blog, I am a creative person writing about my life and starting discussions.
In my youth club, I am creative person who writes their own songs and loves music.
According to my university application, I am a scientific person who has a passion for numbers
I am all of these people, I am creative and scientific and I love helping people; and I want to change the world.
Stay Un-Typical
Ashleigh xxx